There is no tray icon for "Safely Remove Hardware". Any of these ejects a drive:
- The ⏏ symbol next to the drive's name in the Finder sidebar, under Locations.
- Select the drive on the Desktop or in the sidebar and press ⌘E (File → Eject).
- Drag the drive's icon onto the Trash; the Trash turns into an eject symbol while you drag, and nothing is deleted.
Wait until the icon disappears, then pull the drive. Pulling it early gives the "Disk Not Ejected Properly" notification: usually harmless, but a file being written at that moment can be damaged, and Windows may later mark the drive as needing a check.
If the eject is refused with "the disk is in use", an app still has a file open on it, often a Terminal window sitting in one of its folders or a preview; close them and try again. Disk Utility → the drive → Eject forces it as a last resort.
Drives you left plugged in reappear on the Desktop after a restart; whether they show there at all is a Finder setting (Finder → Settings → General).